1. Become an airline pilot.
2. In the middle of a flight, use the P.A. system to say:
“This is the captain speaking. This is the captain speaking. I have assumed control of this plane. As of this moment you may consider yourselves hijacked. I will now state my demands: I have no demands. Having hijacked this flight successfully, I will now proceed to navigate it toward our previously stated final destination. Have a nice flight.”
3. Score yourself based on the amount of police officers who are later going to ask you to “…please, explain this to me one more time.”
1. Drip from the ceiling for at least a day
(never mind who put you there,
or what their reasons were).
2. Stick to the floor, bed, carpets, walls, and mirrors
for as long as possible.
3. Remove the apartment from your body and leave.
4. Get on a bus, or a train, or an airplane, or a time machine
(whichever is closest).
6. Play a crucial part in every major revolution
of the 21st, 48th, or 2nd century.
7. Forget how to speak if you really need to.
8. Fly a plane into me whenever you’re ready.
9. Achievement unlocked: Loss Flight.
1. Travel the world in flying hunks of steel.
2. Carry an autoinjector on you at all times.
3. Talk about the future and charge loads of money.
4. Talk out of your ass and charge loads of money.
5. Admire the new and the news.
6. Watch other not only tie ties, but also not ties.
7. Bring your knot.
8. Bring your old noose.
9. Bring an extra suit.
10. Gain 1 gold for every continent you visit while sober.