1. Come to me now,
across the plains, across asphalt and glass.
2. Come to me now,
across the water, across the telephone lines.
3. Come to me now,
disguised as yourself, disguised as rain.
4. Come to me now,
before the bulls do. Before the bulls.
5. Come to me now,
painfully fast, unbearably quick.
6. Come to me now,
step by gasp, gasp by inch.
7. Come to me now,
soaked in mist, soaked in tears.
8. Come to me now,
covered in sugar, hidden in flags.
9. Come to me now,
across the board, uncovering ground.
10. Stay for a second and breathe like I breathe:
with great difficulty and in spite of it all.
1. Stick a needle in your arm.
2. Stick a needle in your face.
3. Stick a needle in your palm.
4. Stick a needle in your back.
5. Take a deep breath.
6. Bite your tongue.
7. Swallow hard.
8. Sink through an entire office building; glass, and concrete, and all.
9. Score yourself based on how different you feel.
1. Take a deep breath.
2. Let the smell travel through your nose and down
into your sooty and clogged up heart.
3. Wave your flower at passers-by.
4. Speak to no one and nothing but your flower for a month.
5. Chop it up and pour poison on it.
6. Keep it in a jar under your bed until the next full moon.
7. Bury it in your backyard.
8. Dig it up when you’re ready to lose for real.
1. Roll your head back.
2. Relax your shoulders, slowly.
3. Open your hands and spread your fingers.
4. Open your eyes, wide. As wide as you can.
5. Stand there, slack-jawed, taking it all in.
6. Fill your lungs with as much air as possible.
7. Hold it and hold it and hold it.
8. Blow at the world
and watch it crumble
like so much dust
9. Change relationship status to: ”real simple”.
1. Bend backward.
2. Bend forward.
3. Stand on one leg.
4. Stand on your forefathers’ necks.
5. Stare at these letters until they dance.
6. Take a deep breath.
(You are dying)
(You should probably get that taken care of, if you can)
10. Level up.
1. Take a deep breath.
2. Feel the misty morning air run across your hands.
3. Head to the bridge.
4. Talk to none of the bridge’s guardians.
They’re full of shit.
5. Imagine yourself becoming one with the bridge
as you walk across it.
6. Imagine the bridge imagining you becoming one
with it as you walk across it.
7. Jump off.
8. Imagine yourself flying.
1. Take a step back.
2. Maintain eye contact.
3. Move your head like a cobra.
4. Stand still.
5. Hold your breath.
7. Get fired and replaced by a real snake.
8. Change [Occupational Status] to “Unemployed and blacklisted”.
1. Add up all numbers you can think of
(this could take a while,
depending on your INT score).
2. Split them up and hand them out
to people who are still waiting for theirs.
3. Ask everyone if they can pick a number
between 1 and 39826469.
4. Watch them closely
as you begin to disappear before their very eyes.
5. Multiply your vocabulary size every other year,
making up new words if you have to.
6. Subtract sense for as long as you can hold your breath.
7. Get someone to join you
in walking backwards
1. Make up new words to replace the following:
hunger, vertigo, shortness of breath, paralysis, obsession.
2. Don’t call it “love”.
3. Find a pocket between the spoken and the unspoken.
4. Put the words you make up into the pocket.
5. Make regular visits to add, remove, or rearrange words.
6. Before you die,
teach all of the words
to someone you’ve never met before.
7. Add one dot to “OBFUSCATION”.