1. Drag the back of your hand
along a smooth surface.
2. Put your face half-way under water.
3. Picture a soft and small animal.
4. Sit in the middle of a burning building.
5. Throw a word against the steepest part of mountain
until it shatters.
6. Drag the palm of your hand
across someone’s face.
7. Tell me your name
and write it on your sheet where it says
1. Stick a needle in your arm.
2. Stick a needle in your face.
3. Stick a needle in your palm.
4. Stick a needle in your back.
5. Take a deep breath.
6. Bite your tongue.
7. Swallow hard.
8. Sink through an entire office building; glass, and concrete, and all.
9. Score yourself based on how different you feel.
1. Let it rain.
2. Let it rain.
3. Let it rain.
4. Let it rain.
5. Sing Here Comes the Sun
with a resigned smile on your face.
6. Make sure to listen closely
to yourself as you sing.
7. Cut out your tongue
and hand it to a police officer.
8. Let it rain.
9. Let it rain.
10. Let it rain.
1. Touch your own ass.
2. Touch your own face.
3. Touch your own tits.
4. Touch your own lips.
5. Touch your own junk.
6. Touch your own shadow
in a way that will make it follow you
for the rest of your life.
7. Level up.
1. Look at the sky and whisper:
I don’t see race.
2. Look at the coffee cup and say:
I don’t care what god you believe in.
3. Stare at the face in the mirror and shout:
Only lazy people fail!
If you just work hard,
you’ll get what you want!
4. Bury your face in the pillow and sob:
Men and women are simply not the same,
but also super similar and stuff!
5. Pet a dog and admit:
Everyone is a unique
and valuable individual,
each contributing to society
in their own way,
according to their ability.
6. Collect your unemployment and chirp:
There’s nothing technology can’t fix!
1. Stop your whining.
2. Go downtown.
3. Make a scene at your cable provider’s office.
4. Throw a pie in your landlord’s face.
5. Start fights with the government.
6. Spend four days coming up with a name for your awesome ride.
7. Keep it all up until the wheels come off.
8. Keep going without wheels.
9. Give your ride a proper burial and then abandon it.
10. Go back home, recover, die. Simple as that.
1. Invite a stranger for hard liquor and fistfights.
2. Ask them whether or not they know the blues.
3. Fight and drink all night.
5. Bleeding from mouth, eyebrow, and knuckles,
present them with a vintage steel-string guitar.
6. Ask them to play the blues.
7. Listen intently, taking in each note,
and raw expression of sorrow.
8. Keep listening until the first warm and salty tear
down your cheek.
9. Punch the stranger in the face.
10. You lose.
(Does that make you feel
1. Run in circles.
2. Call people you know
won’t pick up.
3. Paint you face red.
4. Head over to the wall.
5. Sit down on the floor.
6. Grip your knees tight.
7. Rock back and forth
for a very long time.
8. Tap yourself on the back.
9. Leave the ring.
10. Declare yourself the new
heavy-heart champion of the world.
1. Keep one of your hands wrapped in plastic
at all times.
2. Use only your wrapped hand
whenever you need to touch your face.
3. Paint the hand in whatever color you like.
4. Give the hand a name.
5. Talk to the hand.
6. Teach the hand to dance and write a ballet for it.
7. Travel the world, performing the ballet for everyone to see.
8. Score yourself based on
how cultured you feel
after having played this game
for twenty years.
2. Keep your hands where I can see them
3. Get down on your knees.
4. Read me your rights (make them up as you go along).
5. Handcuff me and take away all my weapons.
6. Give me a ride to the central station.
7. Pretend you’re a convicted felon they let go
because they liked your smile.
8. Pretend I’m your shadow.
9. Shine a light in my face to make me go away.
10. Listen for further instructions
when you go to sleep.
I’ll make sure you get them despite yourself.