May 25, Scout Game

Short Games

1. Wait until you’re 34 years old
to earn your first scout badge.
2. Dig a hole in the middle of a soccer field.
3. Drop the badge in the hole.
4. Drop a dead rat in the hole.
5. Drop a live scorpion in the hole.
6. Drop a bag of fireworks in the hole.
7. Drop a gallon of gasoline in the hole.
8. Start a fire.
9. Earn another scout badge.
10. Level up.

May 9, Lerner Game

Short Games
1. Make poetry famous.
2. Burn your initials into the sun.
3. Read poetry
from the middle of a burning building,
standing in the fast lane of the freeway
falling from the top of the Empire State Building.
4. Be Richard Speck,
rather than Gary Snyder.
5. Ride a rocketship to hell,
rather than a Volvo to Bolinas.
6. Sell arms to the Martians,
rather than wait sullenly for a letter from some deceased clown with a three-piece mind, telling you that you’ve won a bulletproof pair of rose-colored glasses for your poem ”Autumn in the Spring”.
7. Be hated by everyone
who teaches for a living.
8. Read your poetry and watch people
get headaches, vomit, weep, scream, disappear, start bleeding,
eat their television sets,
beat each other to death with swords,
and go out and get riotously drunk
on someone else’s money
9. Do not bury poetry
or dandle it on your knee like a retarded child
with beautiful eyes.
Instead, blow it up
or throw it off a cliff into icy seas
and see if the the motherfucker
can swim for its life.
10. Buy one of those beautiful
switchblade knives.

April 25, Brillant Game

Short Games

1. Think and ponder.
2. Set a dog on fire.
3. Reason and speculate.
4. Set a house on fire.
5. Contemplate and reconsider.
6. Set a heart on fire.
7. Evaluate and interrogate.
8. Set a man on fire.
9. Start wearing sunglasses at night.
10. Level up.
That’s what people wearing sunglasses at night do, you know.

February 20, Late Game

Short Games

1. Go for a walk in the woods.
2. Bring matches, in case there is a fire.
3. Bring a gun, in case someone is murdered.
4. Bring an egg, in case you find a chicken.
5. Bring a scream, in case I’ve stopped listening.
6. Bring water, in case you find a lake.
7. Bring empty hands, in case you drop something.
8. Bring money, in case you forgot the matches.
9. Bring poetry, in case everyone falls asleep.
10. Never return.