1. Love your door.
2. Love your floor.
3. Love your bedroom.
4. Love your chair.
5. Love your bed.
6. Love your bookshelf.
7. Commit suicide.
1. Open a window.
2. Put on some music.
3. Take off some of what you’re wearing.
4. Do some dishes or clean the floors.
5. Sing as loud as you want
(remember: it doesn’t have to be loud at all).
6. Lie down on a couch
or a mattress
or a mat
or the floor.
7. Close your eyes
and listen to your heart beat.
8. Allow yourself feel good about yourself.
9. REPEAT step 8 until you’re ready to move on.
1. Run in circles.
2. Call people you know
won’t pick up.
3. Paint you face red.
4. Head over to the wall.
5. Sit down on the floor.
6. Grip your knees tight.
7. Rock back and forth
for a very long time.
8. Tap yourself on the back.
9. Leave the ring.
10. Declare yourself the new
heavy-heart champion of the world.
1. There is an old school close to where you grew up.
Connecting to your childhood is important,
so go there whenever you sense a storm coming on.
2. You will need equipment.
Add the following items to your inventory:
a sharp knife,
a blunt smile.
3. You should not do this alone.
There will be people there to help you.
Talk to them in a hushed voice.
4. It’s important that you get some sleep.
Lie down on the cold wooden floor
in one of the classrooms.
5. Though it is indeed dark,
you need to get familiar
with your immediate surroundings.
Reach out with your hand
and see if you can make
the darkness start moving away from you.
6. Whenever you try to remember
remind yourself that there is
a pretty good chance that this is all a dream.
7. One of the aspects most lacking
in contemporary society is,
without a doubt, spirituality.
When you wake up,
go straight to the temple
(the temple is in the gym hall).
8. Though we are alone,
hopelessly trapped in our own bodies,
and in experiences devoid of any genuine meaning whatsoever
to anyone but ourselves,
it is nonetheless paramount to foster
a strong sense of community.
Join the singing
and the dancing
and the screaming
and the shouting
and the chanting
and the crying
and the scrying
and the oohing
and the aahing
and the regular rituals
and the sex rituals
and the blood rituals
and the dinner conversation
and the pillow talk
and the funerals
and the weddings
and the telephone recruitment campaigns
and the political rallies
and the violent protests
and the inevitable schisms
and the splinter groups with dubious motives
and the suicide pacts
and the cowards that bail on the suicide pacts
and the people reading strange games online
and the people playing regular games
as part of their quest to fulfill themselves.
9. A hobby will help you stabilize
your rapidly disintegrating psyche,
thus buying you some time
before the complete and violent collapse
of your social (and, in the end, also your biological) life.
and board games
and role-playing games
and miniatures games
with people you feel are
like you in all things that matter.
10. A flair for the critical evaluation of one’s own efforts
will help build a knowledge of self
that may prove valuable in the workplace.
based on your performance.
1. Drip from the ceiling for at least a day
(never mind who put you there,
or what their reasons were).
2. Stick to the floor, bed, carpets, walls, and mirrors
for as long as possible.
3. Remove the apartment from your body and leave.
4. Get on a bus, or a train, or an airplane, or a time machine
(whichever is closest).
6. Play a crucial part in every major revolution
of the 21st, 48th, or 2nd century.
7. Forget how to speak if you really need to.
8. Fly a plane into me whenever you’re ready.
9. Achievement unlocked: Loss Flight.
1. Trace the outline of your chin with a shovel.
2. Get a bucket of ice.
3. Paint a train station pink.
4. Paint a hospital black (all of it — black beds; black sheets; black journals; black televisions; black floors; black ceiling-mounted speakers; black wheelchairs; black IV tubes; black windows; black kitchenette; black doors; black lung diseases; black broken ribs and punctured lungs; black hearts; black feet; black eyes; black sores; black bruises; black nurses and doctors; black visitors and patients; black cab drivers and ambulance medics; black bibles; black knives and sharp needles; black hopes; black despair; black cancer; black MS; black alcoholism; black delusions; black depression; black surgery; black ulcers; black fractures and splinters; black head trauma; black stab wounds; black cardiac arrests; black pills; black liquid medicine; black band aids; black chairs; black bandages; black disinfectants; black tourniquets; black flash bulbs; black laundry; black breakfast, lunch and dinner; black stethoscopes, black hopes)
5. Forge your own signature and use it to buy a house.
6. Paint the house red.
7. Paint the house blue.
8. Trace the outline of your heart with a black needle.
9. Swallow the needle.
10. Ask someone who has lived more than you to score you based on your performance.