1. Write the name of an acquaintance on a post-it.
2. REPEAT step 1 until exhausted.
3. Decorate your walls with spirals drawn in dirt, blood, or invisible ink.
4. Place the post-its randomly on a wall.
5. Draw arrows between some of the post-its.
6. Keep a fluorescent light on until it starts flickering.
7. Throw darts at some of the post-its.
8. Laugh to yourself and record it to play back later.
9. Score yourself based on whether or not you go on to become a serial killer.
1. Drag the back of your hand
along a smooth surface.
2. Put your face half-way under water.
3. Picture a soft and small animal.
4. Sit in the middle of a burning building.
5. Throw a word against the steepest part of mountain
until it shatters.
6. Drag the palm of your hand
across someone’s face.
7. Tell me your name
and write it on your sheet where it says
1. Stop your whining.
2. Go downtown.
3. Make a scene at your cable provider’s office.
4. Throw a pie in your landlord’s face.
5. Start fights with the government.
6. Spend four days coming up with a name for your awesome ride.
7. Keep it all up until the wheels come off.
8. Keep going without wheels.
9. Give your ride a proper burial and then abandon it.
10. Go back home, recover, die. Simple as that.
1. Open your window like you
open your eyes in the morning.
2. Open this box like you
open a heart unattached.
3. Open your hands like you
open a locked door.
4. Open your mouth like you
open a dying insect.
5. Open three restaurants,
all with miss spelled naimes.
6. Open a cold case
and drag your tongue
along the inside of its lid.
7. Open your door like you
open a line of reasoning.
8. Close the door as you
leave and slip a note under it.
9. Read the note out loud:
”Ceci n’est pas une
Short Game for Lonely People”
1. Keep one of your hands wrapped in plastic
at all times.
2. Use only your wrapped hand
whenever you need to touch your face.
3. Paint the hand in whatever color you like.
4. Give the hand a name.
5. Talk to the hand.
6. Teach the hand to dance and write a ballet for it.
7. Travel the world, performing the ballet for everyone to see.
8. Score yourself based on
how cultured you feel
after having played this game
for twenty years.
1. Translate a lover’s name into subtle finger movements.
2. Using only your fingers,
tell everyone on a bus the name of your lover.
3. Pay for your ticket and sit down.
4. Smile and look out a window.
5. Watch the fingers of the other passengers closely.
6. Every time they say your lover’s name,
raise your score by one.
7a. Reach your destination with at least as many points
as you have fingers.
7b. Go back and start over.
1. Sink some ink into your arm.
2. Write a song and say my name.
3. Carve my name into your chest.
1. Swing your tongue like it’s a baseball bat.
2. Make sure saliva spills on bystanders.
3. Visit your local supermarket.
4. Keep swinging that tongue, please.
5. Laugh like a sane person would, if any of them ever attempted this.
6. Pride yourself on being an asset to your community.
7. Start referring to yourself as “the asset”.
8. Wear a mask and fight crime.
9. Swing your tongue like it’s a baseball batman.
1. Spend your childhood avoiding your parents.
2. Realize they were the ones avoiding you.
3. Carve your name into a tree.
4. Marry the first person
who suggests cutting that tree down.
5. Write a song.
6. Sing a mountain.
7. Dance a city forever caught
in the light of a sunrise.
8. Spend a week on your back
whispering the many names
you wish to be called.
9. Get a shower.
10. Step through the walls,
1. Spend a day in complete silence and solitude.
2. End the day by carving your name into a tree far away from your home.
3. On your way back, think of things that have no names, as many as you can.
4. Once you’re back, write them down on a very, very big piece of paper.
5. Mix water, sugar, and potato starch in the right amounts, following the right procedures.
6. Cut the paper into high and narrow sheets.
7. Decorate your home with the list, using your homemade glue to make it stick to things.
8. Every time you name one of the unnamed things, say it out loud, cross it off the list, and gain XP (maximum one item per year, unless you just named a night, of course).