1. Drag the back of your hand
along a smooth surface.
2. Put your face half-way under water.
3. Picture a soft and small animal.
4. Sit in the middle of a burning building.
5. Throw a word against the steepest part of mountain
until it shatters.
6. Drag the palm of your hand
across someone’s face.
7. Tell me your name
and write it on your sheet where it says
1. Stick a needle in your arm.
2. Stick a needle in your face.
3. Stick a needle in your palm.
4. Stick a needle in your back.
5. Take a deep breath.
6. Bite your tongue.
7. Swallow hard.
8. Sink through an entire office building; glass, and concrete, and all.
9. Score yourself based on how different you feel.
1. Rub your palms together,
slowly at first and then faster.
2. Snap your fingers
in an irregular pattern.
3. Clap you hands,
but don’t keep a beat.
4. Slap your thighs.
5. Slap you thighs really hard
6. Slap you thighs really hard
and start stomping your feet.
7. Continue doing this for a very long time.
8. Scream: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
9. Do it all in reverse, going back
10. Score yourself based on how much
you look like you just came in from the rain.
1. Silky soft and moist, rub it on your palms.
2. Salty and nurturing, put it on your arm.
3. Yellowish and sticky, lick it and lick it and lick it.
4. Kept cool and safe from prying eyes, take comfort in its nocturnal company.
5. You love it now, sure, but you’ll love it more on a duck.
6. Add garlic and call yourself a connoisseur.
7. Announce, to the empty room:
“I sure am a connoisseur,
if I may say so myself,
and I may.”