May 21, Fencing Game

Short Games

1. Grow up reaching through the cracks for hi-fives.
2. Learn to expect hard slaps on the back of your head.
3. Don’t flinch, advance.
4. Don’t blink, lunge.
5. Don’t cry, parry.
6. Drop your weapon after a life of walking ropes.
7. Using both hands, grasp the white picket fence tightly.
8. Slash at the backs of the people who went over before you.
9. Mark it a tie and move to sudden death.
10. Start climbing.

May 17, Rain Game

Short Games

1. Rub your palms together,
slowly at first and then faster.
2. Snap your fingers
in an irregular pattern.
3. Clap you hands,
but don’t keep a beat.
4. Slap your thighs.
5. Slap you thighs really hard
6. Slap you thighs really hard
and start stomping your feet.
7. Continue doing this for a very long time.
8. Scream: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuu
uuuu
uck!
9. Do it all in reverse, going back
to slapping,
then clapping,
then snapping.
10. Score yourself based on how much
you look like you just came in from the rain.

May 9, Lerner Game

Short Games
1. Make poetry famous.
2. Burn your initials into the sun.
3. Read poetry
from the middle of a burning building,
standing in the fast lane of the freeway
OR
falling from the top of the Empire State Building.
4. Be Richard Speck,
rather than Gary Snyder.
5. Ride a rocketship to hell,
rather than a Volvo to Bolinas.
6. Sell arms to the Martians,
rather than wait sullenly for a letter from some deceased clown with a three-piece mind, telling you that you’ve won a bulletproof pair of rose-colored glasses for your poem ”Autumn in the Spring”.
7. Be hated by everyone
who teaches for a living.
8. Read your poetry and watch people
get headaches, vomit, weep, scream, disappear, start bleeding,
eat their television sets,
beat each other to death with swords,
and go out and get riotously drunk
on someone else’s money
9. Do not bury poetry
or dandle it on your knee like a retarded child
with beautiful eyes.
Instead, blow it up
or throw it off a cliff into icy seas
and see if the the motherfucker
can swim for its life.
10. Buy one of those beautiful
switchblade knives.

April 11, Tabletop Game

Short Games

1. There is an old school close to where you grew up.
Connecting to your childhood is important,
so go there whenever you sense a storm coming on.
2. You will need equipment.
Add the following items to your inventory:
a sharp knife,
a blunt smile.
3. You should not do this alone.
There will be people there to help you.
Talk to them in a hushed voice.
4. It’s important that you get some sleep.
Lie down on the cold wooden floor
in one of the classrooms.
5. Though it is indeed dark,
you need to get familiar
with your immediate surroundings.
Reach out with your hand
and see if  you can make
the darkness start moving away from you.
6. Whenever you try to remember
a smell,
a hand,
a neck,
a touch,
a sigh,
or gasp,
remind yourself that there is
a pretty good chance that this is all a dream.
7. One of the aspects most lacking
in contemporary society is,
without a doubt, spirituality.
When you wake up,
go straight to the temple
(the temple is in the gym hall).
8. Though we are alone,
hopelessly trapped in our own bodies,
and in experiences devoid of any genuine meaning whatsoever
to anyone but ourselves,
it is nonetheless paramount to foster
a strong sense of community.
Join the singing
and the dancing
and the screaming
and the shouting
and the chanting
and the crying
and the scrying
and the oohing
and the aahing
and the regular rituals
and the sex rituals
and the blood rituals
and the dinner conversation
and the pillow talk
and the funerals
and the weddings
and the telephone recruitment campaigns
and the political rallies
and the violent protests
and the inevitable schisms
and the splinter groups with dubious motives
and the suicide pacts
and the cowards that bail on the suicide pacts
and the people reading strange games online
and the people playing regular games
as part of their quest to fulfill themselves.
9. A hobby will help you stabilize
your rapidly disintegrating psyche,
thus buying you some time
before the complete and violent collapse
of your social (and, in the end, also your biological) life.
Start playing
card games
and board games
and role-playing games
and miniatures games
with people you feel are
EXACTLY
AND
PRECISELY
like you in all things that matter.
10. A flair for the critical evaluation of one’s own efforts
will help build a knowledge of self
that may prove valuable in the workplace.
Score yourself
based on your performance.

April 3, Demon Game

Short Games

1. Remember that thing you did.
2. Clutch at your throat.
3. That thing, remember it.
4. Scream without making any sounds.
5. Regret the thing. Do it now.
6. Tear your hair out in big chunks that no one will ever want to buy.
7. Remember and regret the thing.
8. Claw at the small of your neck with nails I’ve sharpened for you over the years.
9. Are you obsessing yet? No? Then start obsessing.

10. Pay with your filthy soul
to win this and all other games.

March 22, Nonevent Game

Short Games

1. Stare at the clouds and wait for the tears.
2. Let the light hit you until you fall over.
3. Wake up and smell the ashes.
4. Hold out your hand.
5. Stick your tongue out.
6. Hang your heart out to dry.
7. Scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream.
8. Smile. Always.

March 8, Sunday Game

Short Games

1. Raise your fist.
2. Wave it around.
3. Scream and shout.
4. Bang your drums, the walls, and the backs of other people’s heads.
5. Run down the street with your fist still raised.
6. Smash a TV using your fist.
7. Smash a window using your fist.
8. Don’t use your mouth for anything.
9. Oppose your eviction and fight the system.

February 20, Late Game

Short Games

1. Go for a walk in the woods.
2. Bring matches, in case there is a fire.
3. Bring a gun, in case someone is murdered.
4. Bring an egg, in case you find a chicken.
5. Bring a scream, in case I’ve stopped listening.
6. Bring water, in case you find a lake.
7. Bring empty hands, in case you drop something.
8. Bring money, in case you forgot the matches.
9. Bring poetry, in case everyone falls asleep.
10. Never return.