(remember: it doesn’t have to be loud at all).
or a mattress
or a mat
or the floor.
and listen to your heart beat.
1. Let it rain.
2. Let it rain.
3. Let it rain.
4. Let it rain.
5. Sing Here Comes the Sun
with a resigned smile on your face.
6. Make sure to listen closely
to yourself as you sing.
7. Cut out your tongue
and hand it to a police officer.
8. Let it rain.
9. Let it rain.
10. Let it rain.
1. Raise your glass.
2. Keep quiet for a second.
3. Shed a tear.
4. Shed another tear.
5. Shed enough tears to fill the glass to the brim.
6. Say, loud and clear:
”To absent friends!
To distant lovers!
To hell approaching!
To heaven waiting!
To sandstorms dancing!
To oceans singing!
To preachers crying!
To nurses laughing!
To strong drinks helping!
To soft words helping!
To light touches
and sweet lips
and strong hearts
and brave eyes
and honest hands,
all reaching out
7. Drink. All of it.
8. Put the glass back down.
9. Have lots
10. You win!
1. Tell your boss that he’s doing a great job
that he looks good
that he smells wonderful
that he is a real “people person”.
2. Tell a beggar that you don’t have anything to spare.
Nothing at all.
3. Tell your mother you’ll call her.
4. Tell someone pretty that their face
is “geometrically unsound”.
5. Sing the national anthem
with your hand on your heart.
6. Tell all your friends
that you are their friend.
7. Tell all your friends
that voting is super important,
and that you sure vote,
and for the right party too,
and that people who don’t vote
don’t have the right to complain anyway.
8. Tell yourself that you won this game.
9. Keep a straight face, champ.
1. Visit an acquaintance who’s sick and in need of care.
2. Place their bed north and south, not cross ways.
3. Tie a bunch of mint around their wrists.
4. Put a piece of bacon on their forehead
(IF the bacon is cooked as a result of this,
it’s alright for you to eat it).
5. Sing your four favorite songs to put them to sleep.
6. Walk around their bed backwards seven times,
gathering all their valuables as you go.
7. Keep walking backwards,
rood eht tuo,
bac ixat a otni.
8. Tell the cab driver to keep the change.
1. There is an old school close to where you grew up.
Connecting to your childhood is important,
so go there whenever you sense a storm coming on.
2. You will need equipment.
Add the following items to your inventory:
a sharp knife,
a blunt smile.
3. You should not do this alone.
There will be people there to help you.
Talk to them in a hushed voice.
4. It’s important that you get some sleep.
Lie down on the cold wooden floor
in one of the classrooms.
5. Though it is indeed dark,
you need to get familiar
with your immediate surroundings.
Reach out with your hand
and see if you can make
the darkness start moving away from you.
6. Whenever you try to remember
remind yourself that there is
a pretty good chance that this is all a dream.
7. One of the aspects most lacking
in contemporary society is,
without a doubt, spirituality.
When you wake up,
go straight to the temple
(the temple is in the gym hall).
8. Though we are alone,
hopelessly trapped in our own bodies,
and in experiences devoid of any genuine meaning whatsoever
to anyone but ourselves,
it is nonetheless paramount to foster
a strong sense of community.
Join the singing
and the dancing
and the screaming
and the shouting
and the chanting
and the crying
and the scrying
and the oohing
and the aahing
and the regular rituals
and the sex rituals
and the blood rituals
and the dinner conversation
and the pillow talk
and the funerals
and the weddings
and the telephone recruitment campaigns
and the political rallies
and the violent protests
and the inevitable schisms
and the splinter groups with dubious motives
and the suicide pacts
and the cowards that bail on the suicide pacts
and the people reading strange games online
and the people playing regular games
as part of their quest to fulfill themselves.
9. A hobby will help you stabilize
your rapidly disintegrating psyche,
thus buying you some time
before the complete and violent collapse
of your social (and, in the end, also your biological) life.
and board games
and role-playing games
and miniatures games
with people you feel are
like you in all things that matter.
10. A flair for the critical evaluation of one’s own efforts
will help build a knowledge of self
that may prove valuable in the workplace.
based on your performance.
1. Lift your glass and sing, my friend.
(why sit there all deaf and quiet?)
2. Tell me, tell me, what it was like in my wife’s home?
3. Did you kiss there? For fuck sake, tell me!
4. Shut the fuck up!
5. Look at me, goddammit!
6. Shut the fuck up!
1. Spend your childhood avoiding your parents.
2. Realize they were the ones avoiding you.
3. Carve your name into a tree.
4. Marry the first person
who suggests cutting that tree down.
5. Write a song.
6. Sing a mountain.
7. Dance a city forever caught
in the light of a sunrise.
8. Spend a week on your back
whispering the many names
you wish to be called.
9. Get a shower.
10. Step through the walls,