1. Talk to Satan,
but be nice.
2. Talk to God,
but don’t take any shit.
3. Talk to St. Peter,
and tell him I said hi.
4. Talk to the Pope,
but don’t be fooled.
5. Talk to Elvis,
and don’t move a muscle.
6. Add “basically everyone”
to your list of possible suspects.
7. Exit the hut,
wash yourself off,
get something to eat.
8. Follow the next lead.
1. Buy yourself a coffin within your price range.
2. Make a playlist that’s just so very “you”.
3. Wear some really nice clothes
and a big smile.
4. Go have your picture taken and printed.
5. Write a detailed and thoroughly worked-through will.
6. Write a book about death and dying.
7. Talk to your loved ones.
8. Sit around your house all day, every day.
9. Never die.
1. Max out your BRAIDING skill
by holding hands.
3. Let it all heat up.
4. Go and sit outside.
5. Open and close your eyes
until you’ve forgotten why you started doing it.
6. Lean back (finally, after all this time).
7. Inhale and feel your heart race again.
1. Keep one of your hands wrapped in plastic
at all times.
2. Use only your wrapped hand
whenever you need to touch your face.
3. Paint the hand in whatever color you like.
4. Give the hand a name.
5. Talk to the hand.
6. Teach the hand to dance and write a ballet for it.
7. Travel the world, performing the ballet for everyone to see.
8. Score yourself based on
how cultured you feel
after having played this game
for twenty years.
1. There is an old school close to where you grew up.
Connecting to your childhood is important,
so go there whenever you sense a storm coming on.
2. You will need equipment.
Add the following items to your inventory:
a sharp knife,
a blunt smile.
3. You should not do this alone.
There will be people there to help you.
Talk to them in a hushed voice.
4. It’s important that you get some sleep.
Lie down on the cold wooden floor
in one of the classrooms.
5. Though it is indeed dark,
you need to get familiar
with your immediate surroundings.
Reach out with your hand
and see if you can make
the darkness start moving away from you.
6. Whenever you try to remember
remind yourself that there is
a pretty good chance that this is all a dream.
7. One of the aspects most lacking
in contemporary society is,
without a doubt, spirituality.
When you wake up,
go straight to the temple
(the temple is in the gym hall).
8. Though we are alone,
hopelessly trapped in our own bodies,
and in experiences devoid of any genuine meaning whatsoever
to anyone but ourselves,
it is nonetheless paramount to foster
a strong sense of community.
Join the singing
and the dancing
and the screaming
and the shouting
and the chanting
and the crying
and the scrying
and the oohing
and the aahing
and the regular rituals
and the sex rituals
and the blood rituals
and the dinner conversation
and the pillow talk
and the funerals
and the weddings
and the telephone recruitment campaigns
and the political rallies
and the violent protests
and the inevitable schisms
and the splinter groups with dubious motives
and the suicide pacts
and the cowards that bail on the suicide pacts
and the people reading strange games online
and the people playing regular games
as part of their quest to fulfill themselves.
9. A hobby will help you stabilize
your rapidly disintegrating psyche,
thus buying you some time
before the complete and violent collapse
of your social (and, in the end, also your biological) life.
and board games
and role-playing games
and miniatures games
with people you feel are
like you in all things that matter.
10. A flair for the critical evaluation of one’s own efforts
will help build a knowledge of self
that may prove valuable in the workplace.
based on your performance.
1. Take a deep breath.
2. Feel the misty morning air run across your hands.
3. Head to the bridge.
4. Talk to none of the bridge’s guardians.
They’re full of shit.
5. Imagine yourself becoming one with the bridge
as you walk across it.
6. Imagine the bridge imagining you becoming one
with it as you walk across it.
7. Jump off.
8. Imagine yourself flying.
1. Throw your shadow onto a wall
until it falls to pieces.
2. Gather all palm-sized pieces
and use them to soften the light around your apartment.
3. Use the small pieces
to weave curtains with just the right opacity.
4. Decorate your walls with the largest pieces
and imagine what you’ll tell visitors
if they were to ask about them.
5. Grow a shotgun in your closet.
6. Pour oil on it every night
before it goes to sleep.
7. Learn to talk to it
before it’s too late.
8. Don’t say I never told you so.