May 25, Scout Game

Short Games

1. Wait until you’re 34 years old
to earn your first scout badge.
2. Dig a hole in the middle of a soccer field.
3. Drop the badge in the hole.
4. Drop a dead rat in the hole.
5. Drop a live scorpion in the hole.
6. Drop a bag of fireworks in the hole.
7. Drop a gallon of gasoline in the hole.
8. Start a fire.
9. Earn another scout badge.
10. Level up.

May 9, Lerner Game

Short Games
1. Make poetry famous.
2. Burn your initials into the sun.
3. Read poetry
from the middle of a burning building,
standing in the fast lane of the freeway
falling from the top of the Empire State Building.
4. Be Richard Speck,
rather than Gary Snyder.
5. Ride a rocketship to hell,
rather than a Volvo to Bolinas.
6. Sell arms to the Martians,
rather than wait sullenly for a letter from some deceased clown with a three-piece mind, telling you that you’ve won a bulletproof pair of rose-colored glasses for your poem ”Autumn in the Spring”.
7. Be hated by everyone
who teaches for a living.
8. Read your poetry and watch people
get headaches, vomit, weep, scream, disappear, start bleeding,
eat their television sets,
beat each other to death with swords,
and go out and get riotously drunk
on someone else’s money
9. Do not bury poetry
or dandle it on your knee like a retarded child
with beautiful eyes.
Instead, blow it up
or throw it off a cliff into icy seas
and see if the the motherfucker
can swim for its life.
10. Buy one of those beautiful
switchblade knives.

May 4, Cloud Game

Short Games

1. Duck away from those claws, that,
until just recently,
have always left you alone
to do whatever.
2. Go into a well-lit cave.
3. Sleep next to the fire.
4. Wake up and cover your hands in ashes.
5. Draw a cloud on your chest.
6. Ask the cloud where it’s going.
7a. Wait for an answer.
7b. Turn into a cloud.

May 2, Party Game

Short Games

1. Raise your glass.
2. Keep quiet for a second.
3. Shed a tear.
4. Shed another tear.
5. Shed enough tears to fill the glass to the brim.
6. Say, loud and clear:
”To absent friends!
To distant lovers!
To hell approaching!
To heaven waiting!
To sandstorms dancing!
To oceans singing!
To preachers crying!
To nurses laughing!
To strong drinks helping!
To soft words helping!
To light touches
and sweet lips
and strong hearts
and brave eyes
and honest hands,
all reaching out
to say:
and here
and here
and here
and here”.
7. Drink. All of it.
8. Put the glass back down.
9. Have lots
and lots
and lots
and lots
and lots
and lots
and lots
and lots
and lots
and lots
and lots
and lots
and lots
of fun.
10. You win!

April 8, Bass Game

Short Games

1. Get yourself one hell of a fishing rod.
2. Go fishing.
3. Keep an eye on the line.
4. While you wait,
think about your long gone childhood days.
5. While you wait,
think about all you’ve loved and lost.
6. While you wait,
think about the tears you wish you never held back.
7. Catch the fish.
8. Beat it upside the head with something blunt;
a stick, a joke, or a… blunt.
9. Find some people who really like to party.
10. Drop dat phat bass, yo!

March 24, Rhythm Game

Short Games

1. Bang your head against the wall.
2. Slap yourself in the face.
3. Stub your toe on the table.
4. Hit your knee on the fence.
5. Bump your shoulder against a stranger’s shoulder.
6. Headbutt a mirror.
7. Punch your favorite thigh over and over.
8. Record it all and put it online.
9. Wait for the money to come rolling in.
10. Add: “Crazed” OR “Injured” to your own conditions.

March 22, Nonevent Game

Short Games

1. Stare at the clouds and wait for the tears.
2. Let the light hit you until you fall over.
3. Wake up and smell the ashes.
4. Hold out your hand.
5. Stick your tongue out.
6. Hang your heart out to dry.
7. Scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream and scream.
8. Smile. Always.