(remember: it doesn’t have to be loud at all).
or a mattress
or a mat
or the floor.
and listen to your heart beat.
1. Open your window like you
open your eyes in the morning.
2. Open this box like you
open a heart unattached.
3. Open your hands like you
open a locked door.
4. Open your mouth like you
open a dying insect.
5. Open three restaurants,
all with miss spelled naimes.
6. Open a cold case
and drag your tongue
along the inside of its lid.
7. Open your door like you
open a line of reasoning.
8. Close the door as you
leave and slip a note under it.
9. Read the note out loud:
”Ceci n’est pas une
Short Game for Lonely People”
1. Translate a lover’s name into subtle finger movements.
2. Using only your fingers,
tell everyone on a bus the name of your lover.
3. Pay for your ticket and sit down.
4. Smile and look out a window.
5. Watch the fingers of the other passengers closely.
6. Every time they say your lover’s name,
raise your score by one.
7a. Reach your destination with at least as many points
as you have fingers.
7b. Go back and start over.
1. Get 10 teacups.
2. Distribute them in your home,
according to your own tastes,
but put one in your window.
3. Pick up a hammer on your way to work.
4. Smash your boss’ car window.
5. Smash your boss’ office window.
6. Smash your boss’ face windows
and Windows phone.
7. Drop the hammer on your way out
(if it hits a security guard on its way down,
it hits a security guard on its way down).
8. Go home and wait for the police to arrive.
9. Invite them in for a cup of tea.
10. Score yourself based on
the amount of police officers
that break through your window,
or drink your tea.
1. Look out a broken window.
2. Paint your eyelids the same color as the sky.
3. Sit in front of a strong light.
4. Close your eyes.
5. Open your eyes.
6. Repeat steps 4 and 5 rapidly and for a long time.
7. Move your hands back and forth in front of your face.
8. Notice how your hands
aren’t really your hands,
and how the light
isn’t really shining on you at all,
and how you face
is less corporeal than you’d like it to be,
and how there’s an acousmatic voice
narrating your disintegration in real time,
and how people were right
when they said whatever they said
with their reptilian tongues
and their reptilian mouths.
9. Don’t cry.
10. Score yourself based on your performance.
1. Bolt the doors.
2. Cover the windows.
3. Put in the earplugs.
4. Put on your kevlar.
5. Load your revolver.
6. Load your assault rifle.
7. Start reciting the incantation.
8. Head down into the basement.
9. Don’t look it in the eyes.
10. Spray and pray.
1. Slap a white boy.
2. Snuff your landlord
3. Smash some windows.
4. Break the camcord
5. Pimp the system.
6. Bang for freedom
7. Fuck the high schools.
8. Burn the prisons.
9. Break the handcuffs.
10. Invade the campus
1. Raise your fist.
2. Wave it around.
3. Scream and shout.
4. Bang your drums, the walls, and the backs of other people’s heads.
5. Run down the street with your fist still raised.
6. Smash a TV using your fist.
7. Smash a window using your fist.
8. Don’t use your mouth for anything.
9. Oppose your eviction and fight the system.
1. Trace the outline of your chin with a shovel.
2. Get a bucket of ice.
3. Paint a train station pink.
4. Paint a hospital black (all of it — black beds; black sheets; black journals; black televisions; black floors; black ceiling-mounted speakers; black wheelchairs; black IV tubes; black windows; black kitchenette; black doors; black lung diseases; black broken ribs and punctured lungs; black hearts; black feet; black eyes; black sores; black bruises; black nurses and doctors; black visitors and patients; black cab drivers and ambulance medics; black bibles; black knives and sharp needles; black hopes; black despair; black cancer; black MS; black alcoholism; black delusions; black depression; black surgery; black ulcers; black fractures and splinters; black head trauma; black stab wounds; black cardiac arrests; black pills; black liquid medicine; black band aids; black chairs; black bandages; black disinfectants; black tourniquets; black flash bulbs; black laundry; black breakfast, lunch and dinner; black stethoscopes, black hopes)
5. Forge your own signature and use it to buy a house.
6. Paint the house red.
7. Paint the house blue.
8. Trace the outline of your heart with a black needle.
9. Swallow the needle.
10. Ask someone who has lived more than you to score you based on your performance.