1. Raise your glass.
2. Keep quiet for a second.
3. Shed a tear.
4. Shed another tear.
5. Shed enough tears to fill the glass to the brim.
6. Say, loud and clear:
”To absent friends!
To distant lovers!
To hell approaching!
To heaven waiting!
To sandstorms dancing!
To oceans singing!
To preachers crying!
To nurses laughing!
To strong drinks helping!
To soft words helping!
To light touches
and sweet lips
and strong hearts
and brave eyes
and honest hands,
all reaching out
7. Drink. All of it.
8. Put the glass back down.
9. Have lots
10. You win!
1. Tell your boss that he’s doing a great job
that he looks good
that he smells wonderful
that he is a real “people person”.
2. Tell a beggar that you don’t have anything to spare.
Nothing at all.
3. Tell your mother you’ll call her.
4. Tell someone pretty that their face
is “geometrically unsound”.
5. Sing the national anthem
with your hand on your heart.
6. Tell all your friends
that you are their friend.
7. Tell all your friends
that voting is super important,
and that you sure vote,
and for the right party too,
and that people who don’t vote
don’t have the right to complain anyway.
8. Tell yourself that you won this game.
9. Keep a straight face, champ.
1. Ride around a city of your choice all day. Use only public transportation.
2. Start a staring contest with someone born in another decade.
3. Stick your tongue out to gain an advantage on your opponent.
4. Lightning bolt!
5. Lightning bolt!
6. Lightning bolt!
they start crying,
declare yourself the winner
7ab. ELSE IF
they shake violently and their eyes seem about to pop,
get out of the way before their head explodes. It will, trust me on this.
Sit back down after five minutes.
8. Take off your silly wizard hat.
9. Make the “out of character” sign.
10 (optional). Cry a whole lot.
1. Remember that thing you did.
2. Clutch at your throat.
3. That thing, remember it.
4. Scream without making any sounds.
5. Regret the thing. Do it now.
6. Tear your hair out in big chunks that no one will ever want to buy.
7. Remember and regret the thing.
8. Claw at the small of your neck with nails I’ve sharpened for you over the years.
9. Are you obsessing yet? No? Then start obsessing.
10. Pay with your filthy soul
to win this and all other games.
1. Stand in front of a mirror for an hour.
2. Say: ”Hello”
3. Laugh and say: ”Oh, yes. May I?”
4. Turn around.
5. Reach back with both your hands
and let them touch the mirror
at the exact same time.
6. If the mirror opens up,
7. If the mirror opens up,
I’m happy for you.
8. If the mirror opens up,
there’s no use giving you more instructions.
9. If the mirror opens up,